Effective Coping for Families

This weeks discussion has been about Family Crises and how to effectively cope with any struggles you might encounter in a family. The book (Marriage & Family The Quest For Intimacy, Robert H. Lauer, Jeanette C. Lauer, 8th edition) discusses a type of family that is most likely to respond to a crisis with strength and can actually result from a crisis with higher maturity and growth. It is called the resilient family. This family "can resist disruption in the face of change and cope effectively with crises." Here is a list of strengths that make a family resilient:

• accord, or relationships that foster problem-solving and manage conflict well.
• celebrations, including birthdays, religious days, and other special events.
• communication, including both beliefs and emotions
• good financial management
• hardiness, which includes commitment to the family, the belief that family members have control over their lives, and a sense that the family can deal with all changes.
• health, both physical and emotional.
• shared leisure activities.
• acceptance of each member's personality and behaviors.
• a social support network of relatives and friends
• sharing routines such as family meals and chores
• traditions that carry over from one generation to another. 

Your family can better deal with problems effectively and hopefully even improve through difficult circumstances as you develop these strengths. Another effective coping tool the book discusses is to "take responsibility for yourself and for you family." Instead of accusing your father of not having any worthwhile training or skills and that's why he lost his jobs, observe the reality of your situation, come up with resources your family has, view this as an opportunity for your family to grow and work together, encourage your father (or spouse) in whatever employment field he desires, and BELIEVE that your family can endure hard things and difficult situations.  "Remind yourself that you and your family are people with strengths and the capacity to cope effectively."